21.
John Elway – He went to the Super Bowl five times. Won two of them. And he is rich as hell.
22.
Barry Sanders – If he weren’t stuck in Detroit, he would have been one of the most visible athletes of the day.
23.
Katarina Witt – She won two Olympic gold medals for figure skating. She later showed her figure on Playboy.
24.
Deion Sanders – Let’s face it. He does real cool moves and dances on your Sega and Playstation.
25.
Jeff Gordon – This is a token entry for all you Nascar fans who can read this. Apparently, it is the fastest growing sport.
26.
Mia Hamm – She has all the scoring records in women’s soccer. If she had taken off her shirt, she would have been top 10.
27.
Steffi Graf – She was the greatest singles tennis player ever. And her career rebounded nicely after scoring with Andre Agassi.
28.
Jerry Rice – The greatest Rice treat from San Francisco since Rice-A-Roni. He made Steve Young and Joe Montana into Hall of Famers.
29.
Carl Lewis – He won more Olympic gold medals than anybody. And he wore braces during his thirties making all of us feel a little better.
30.
Larry Bird – He showed that white people could play basketball. But looking at him, you would conclude that white men can’t jump.
31.
Alex Rodriguez/Nomar Garciaparra/Derek Jeter – They are young, gifted, and good-looking. By the time, their careers are over, they will have broken all the important records held by shortstops (homeruns, batting average, women bagged).
32.
Roger Clemens – 5 Cy Young awards and chasing 300 victories. The second most famous Red Sox to put on Yankee pinstripes since Babe Ruth.
33.
Michael Johnson – He won 200 and 400 meters in Atlanta Olympic games. And then he cried like a girl.
34.
Kobe Bryant and Kevin Garnett – Two kids who failed to go to college. Gee, we hope that they aren’t working dead-end jobs.
35.
Brett Favre – He led the cheeseheads to a Super Bowl victory and won three MVP awards. But he is better known for his acting skills in
There’s Something About Mary.
36.
Shannon Miller – She was the most decorated gymnast in US history. And she wasn’t even coached by Bela Karolyi.
37.
Randy Johnson – His menacing look, his 6 foot 8 frame, and devastating fastball strikes fear into all batters. Most of all, his nickname of Big Unit is the envy of all boys who don’t quite measure up.
38.
Pedro Martinez – When he is naked, he may not compare to the Big Unit. He is just like us: shorter and lighter than everybody else, average frame, and has the command of a 95 mph fastball.
39.
Cal Ripken, Jr. – His chase of Lou Gehrig saved baseball. A solid role model who lacks flash or personality. However, he was the only story in baseball in 1995.
40.
Hulk Hogan – We all thought that wrestling was real at one point. And he was the best.
41.
Mike Piazza – He is the greatest 62nd round draft selection in history. Who knew that he might break all records by catchers in records that count. He is to the catcher position what A-Rod, Nomar and DJ are to the shortstop position.
42.
Dan Marino – He owns all passing records. Gee, that’s great but where is your Super Bowl ring?
43.
Andre Agassi – After he ditched his flamboyant style and lost his hair, he started to play some great tennis. More importantly, his love interests included Barbra Streisand, Brooke Shields and Steffi Graf.
44.
Dennis Rodman – During his prime, he got a tattoo for every rebound title. And he has a lot of tattoos so you know he was good. And he looked so fine in a satin wedding gown.
45.
Cheryl Miller – How often can a All-star NBA player admit that his sister used to kick his butt when they were playing one-on-one? Well, the older sis to Reggie Miller was to women’s basketball the way Jordan was to men’s.
46.
Dick Butkus – Okay, he played during an era when gay meant happy. He was a terror on the football field, but we just like to say “Dick Butkus.”
47.
Emmitt Smith – He helped the Cowboys win 3 out of 4 Super Bowls. Despite playing for Dallas, he had no criminal record.
48.
Grant Hill – Among the league filled with bad boys, he is the perfect role model. He is affable, good-looking, completed his 4 years at Duke, won Rookie of the Year award, is a perennial all-star, etc.
49.
Dave Mirra – No one has dominated the X-Games the way the “Miracle Man” has. He has as many medals as broken bones…that’s saying a lot.
50.
Madonna – No one has scored with more athletes than this First Lady of Pop. For her, this list is her black book.
