“The One Where Rosita Dies”
At least when McDonald’s says “Super Size,” they mean it. (Those super
size drinks are insanely big!) What’s with this “Super sized Friends”
junk? Why don’t they just call it what it actually is - “We need more money
and it’s sweeps and we’re trying to beat Survivor, so we’ll add
more commercials and milk advertisers for all they’re worth, and the resulting
money will then go to pay for the cast members’ ridiculous salaries, which
they now need more of because we’re not really shooting any extra scenes but
saying we are”?
Anyways, on to more important matters. So Rachel wants to move the couch so
she can see the TV, which would require moving “Rosita,” Joey’s easy chair
(or the barcalounger). However, Joey, of course, refuses, claiming that Rosita
is the perfect equidistance from both the bathroom and the kitchen, and doesn’t
get a glare from “Stevie.” (The TV… geddit?). Unfortunately, when Joey
leaves, Rachel continues to try to move the chair, and proceeds to break it.
Joey finds out, and places the broken part back on, leaving Rosita to heal while
he and Rachel shop for a new chair.
Later, Chandler walks into their unlocked apartment in New York City when
neither one of them are there, sits in the chair, falls over the broken part,
and thinks he broke it. Chandler then decides to replace Joey’s chair with his
chair, which only confuses Joey and Rachel more when they come back. Then, since
they had already bought another chair, they end up with two. The only problem is
that Joey likes the new chair that Rachel bought better than his old one. So he
purposely breaks Chandler’s chair, leaving both Chandler and Joey chair-less.
This thrills both Rachel, who now gets an awesome chair all for herself, and
Monica, who doesn’t have to deal with Chandler’s ugly chair anymore.
Chandler wants the new chair for himself (since he was the only one who never
broke a chair), but Joey and Rachel gang up on him, saying, “There’s two of
us and one of you…And we’re the Cobras.”
Meanwhile, Ross and Monica discover that their parents are selling the house
they grew up in. This starts Monica in on her whole “my parents love Ross
better.” Girl, you have some issues. Get therapy. Oh yeah, and a hair stylist,
and maybe some shampoo to wash all that oil out of your hair. So they go to the
house to retrieve their stuff, and some boring conversations about cigarettes
(don’t ask) ensue. When Monica finds out that all of her stuff was ruined in a
flood, she of course flips out. She’s also wearing orange pants. Enough said.
At the same time, Phoebe complains that she hasn’t made any money this
year. Ross suggests telemarketing, which of course leads to some
Phoebe-worked-for-a-phone-sex-line jokes. She then gets a job selling toner,
although she doesn’t really know what that is. She is given a script to
follow, but unfortunately, her first call (Jason Alexander, in a very
George-like role) tells her that he doesn’t need any toner because he’s
going to kill himself. In a very funny moment, he tells her that he wants to
kill himself because he’s been working for ten years in a meaningless job, and
nobody knows he exists, which leaves Phoebe wondering, “Chandler?”
Finally, Monica’s dad ends up giving her his Porsche to make up for her
lost stuff, which only makes Ross feel inadequate. Phoebe convinces her client
not to kill himself, and Rachel and Joey agree to share the chair.
Next week, they all flash back to their thirtieth birthday parties. That
should be interesting.
